Freakin Mac!! :(

Hmmm... it seems that my Mac is all tarded. It wont let me display pitures. There is so much anger flowing through me at this moment, I can barly move. Grrrr....

HA!

Ha! You thought I was done. Well, that was a LIE! Now, back to the car. And If you really don’t want to hear, go here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

So without further ado, DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAA!! Pretty car pictures!! YAAAY!!

Did you like that newspaper? I bet you did. Problem is, you have no idea why it’s there. So I’m gonna Terentino (I’m sure there is some sort of spelling error there) this. And if you don’t get the reference, I will NOT SLOW THIS BUS DOWN FOR SLOWPOKES! FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF, YOU LAZY BUMBS! I WON’T HAND FEED YOU ALL THE INFORMATION IN THE WORLD! GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I went a little overboard there didn’t I? Sorry ‘bout that. Anyway, I newspapered the window because I was painting the side of the car, as seen here…

Yeah, I know. It is an amazing job. I am Piccaso. Or, y’know, not. But why am a painting it, you may ask? Well that can be easily answered by this pic…

Oh… er… sorry, wrong picture. I meant THIS pic…

Grrr… third times a charm…

THERE we go! As you see here, I bondoed the side (which has a huge dent in it) and because I couldn’t really tell where I needed more bondo, I put some primer on.

And where did the dent come from? Well…

I have absolutely no idea.

By the way, the whole bondoing thing was made infinitely easier because of my dad’s friend Seth (remember the Basement Squaters?). He brought a power sander down to my dad’s house, and it hooks up to the air pressurizer and goes REEAAALLY fast. Is nice (Borat style).

And for a little flashback, remember the whole me almost crashing thing? Long time go? Well, we found out that I was right! The steering wheel is a little busted, and that made it lock up! It wasn’t my fault!

And by the by, we found this out when we took the steering column to fix the blinker. It was all tarded.

Anyway, that's all I have to report as of now. And for all of you who didn't read this (well, actually, if you didn't read this, than you arn't here to know what I'm saying) YOU JUST GOT RICKROLLED!!!!

I really should stop this...

Well, I guess that I’ve waited waaaaay too long, again. I really need to stop doing that. I only post like, once a month now, if that. Every month, it’s like there is a huge C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! Many of you have no idea what I’m talking about, at this point. Oh well, too bad for you. AAAAAAAnyway, I’ve done some stuff to my car. Would you like to see? NO!!! Oh, well then, goodbye.

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

(By the way, that title is meant to be said in a slightly creepy manner, like the little girl in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, "They're HEEEEEEEEERE", or perhaps in an even scarier manner, such as Jack Nicholson in The Shining, "Heeeeeere's Johnny!", but more likely, it would be like that one drunk pilot in Independence Day)

I TOLD you I wouldn't be driving for a while! After what, a month? of driving abstinence (Giggity), I finally stepped behind the wheel of a car again yesterday (and yes, you are allowed to put in a question mark without ending a sentence). For those N00Bs or morons, this is my car:

(In case you can't tell, it's a '79 Camaro. You never know who might be reading this...)

And this is the result of my last automotive experience...

Well maybe not THAT bad, but I did almost hit someone. Aaand another someone. And a ladder. You know what, just refer to the blog post below this one.

Anyway, my latest drive went much better, although it was not without its share of exitement, setbacks, and retardetude.That's right. Retardetude. ... I love my twisted mind. (See some post about using my words. And if you are too lazy to do so, than you are most likely also too lazy to get any exercise. So for those people... HAAAAAAA!!! YOU'RE AN F3!!! [this has nothing to do with E3, the Electronics Entertainment Expo, it is the abreviation of Triple-F, which is a shortening of Fatty-Fat Fat])

So my dad says its about time for me to start driving again, and already I'm a little bit, "Shwa?" (it means something along the lines of "Woah woah, hold up there, sparky. What was that you just said? It can't be what I thought you just said. Wha... It was!? Oh my god. OOOOOH MYYYYYYYY GAAAAAAWWWWWWD!!!!! *run away crying like small girl*. I know. All that, in just one word. It's a little bit like the opposite of Japanese.) But instead of going with dad, I went with Seth. Which reminds me, you all are a little out of the loop, arn't ya? Let me fill you in (Giggity); My dad's friend Seth and his girlfriend Sasha moved into the basement a couple of weeks ago. Now, if you knew everything about my life (which would be really, really creepy), you would know that my uncle used to live down there, and no offense to him, but he didn't exactly leave it in the same state that he found it. Or even the same country, for that matter. Throw in a couple of flooding incedents, and you have one nasty place to live. So Seth and Sasha basically set out to fix the place up, which they did at an astounding speed. So now they live there, and are affectionatly refered to as, "The Basement Squaters". By the way, the People Living in Dad's House Count, or the PLDHC (and not a vowel in sight), is now up to 6 people, 1/2 a dog, and 2 1/2 cats (we have a catdog named Shiva [not really a catdog, just a dog that is everything bad that is dog, and everything bad that is cat] that dad hates with a passion like none other I have ever seen)

Back to the actual story, I went drivin' with Seth. First we tried going down to Lowell (see one of my posts. What, you think I actually remember which one? Find it yourself, you lazy NuBs. Just think of it as The Da'Vinci Code, "It lies beneath this post"... Y'know, as in, "It lies beneath the rose." If you haven't read it, and don't plan to, than go die you ILITERATE SWINE!!! The great part about that last sentence is that I'm not sure if I spelled iliterate correctly.). That didn't work too well. We missed the turn, and ended up going back to the house. Guess what moron was driving?

Obviously.

So this time Seth drives down to the Albertsons, we pick up some groceries, and drop it off back home. Then we try Lowell again. He drives. When we get there, we swich places, and now I drive. Now lets back up a sec. Before we left, Dad said, "turn around before you get to the lumber yard. Do you remember where that is, Scott?"

"Yes, Dad"

Long story short (too late), No, Dad. Because I didn't know where the lumber yard was, I didn't turn around in time. And would you like to know where that got me? On the freeway. Me. Driving. Freeway. The three words when, uttered using the right connencting words, can cause the earth to QUAKE WITH FEAR BEFORE MY MIGHT, PUNY MORTALS HAH HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! Woops, kind of slipped into earth domination mode there. That's not what I'm like (yet). I actually did alot better than I thought that I would on the freeway, it was easier than the normal roads! No stop signs, no lights, no puppies to get stuck in my tire treads, and no pedestrians to scrape off of my hood! So longer story shorter (way too late) we eventually got home in one piece.

I will now take a break in the middle of this post in order for you to get up, stretch your legs, lose some wait on the toilet, or just go into another room and analy exhale (to use a... well, not a polite euphemism, but a euphemism all the same.).

Anyway, back to you're regularly schedualed post...

So now I've told you all about how well I drove, but nothing about how much I have fixed. And boy, do I have alot to tell. Well, truth be told, I have very little to tell. ... HA HA! I foooooled you! You actually thought that I had somthing left to say! Hehehehehe.

OK, I'm done.

Giggity.

That was... interesting

(Wasn't that quick?) That's basically how I sum up today. Interesting. That's actually my way of saying, 'down right friggen blows my mind scary'. Let me set this up for you; I'm driving along down a busy street, and I'm going to take a left turn. So I pull into the turning lane. At this point, my steering wheel is turned left. It's a red light, so I wait a while. Light turns green, I hit the gas, I start to turn the wheel. Of course, my steering wheel is a little off, as seen here:

(In this pic, the wheels, are slightly to the left. Or, I think they are. You see what I mean!!)

So I don't realize that my wheel is still turned left, and that turning it even more will put me right into oncoming traffic. You can probabaly guess how that ended. That's right. I turned left. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much. Luckily, the law says I have to have a good driver in the passenger seat, so my dad is there to say, "STOOOOP!!!" I slam the brakes, and make it so. Then, just to add to the fun of this situation, the car turns off. So just to remind you, I am now stopped dead, car off, in the middle of a busy four-way intersection, all the drivers of course soooo pleased to have me right in thier way, and my car refusing to start. Finally (thank Darwin), it does start, and I start going forward. And almost plow right into a car that pulled up. Thanks to my ultra-honed spidey-senses (or dad again yelling stop, not sure which), I go around it, go back up the hill, and pull into my driveway. At that point, my confidence in my super-amazing driving is just about shot, and then, because all troubles come in threes, I scrach my car trying to pull into the driveway. Let it be said, that I will not be driving for a while.

I has a dash pad (but no bucket...)

For those of you who are unable to make any sense out of the title of this post, allow me to elaborate:

This pic is known as 'Walrus has a bucket'. You now understand about half of the title.

To get the other half, you will have to hear about my day. Now if only there was some place, on a, I don't know... Network of Tubes, that some how linked everybody's computors together in order to share information; and in this network of tubes there was a place to write an electronic diary, or a log, to tell people about my day, I would be in buisness. Waaaaait...

So today I finished up cutting carpet to fit over my dashboard, in order to cover-up some nasty holes and cracks (Giggity). This actually turned out better than expected, and I got a pretty good looking dash pad. And because no blog post is ever complete without a plethora of pictures, here's one of me making the aformentioned dashpad:

Riveting. Anywho, I eventually put that dashpad in my car and I made it look pretty. Like so:

Enthralling. after that, I took out ol' Bessy (I figure everyone should have one possesion known as ol' Bessy. Be it cow, tractor, or wireless power drill, in my case. Although, that drill is actually my dad's, so only he may call it ol' Bessy. It, not being one of MY possesions, may only be deemed an ol' bessy by its official owner. I believe that there is an entire law practice devoted to ol' Bessy cases because, as you can clearly see, it gets quite confusing). Using said power drill, I stripped (Giggity) a bunch of old carpet off the sides of the car. I turned this:

Into this:

By doing this:

Spellbinding (W00T Microsoft Word Thesaurus!). Once that was done, dad and I went to Hollywood Video, Schucks, and Autozone, me driving (not the best idea, it turns out, but that's news for it's own post). We picked up some cool floor mats:

And began the drive home. And then *screen freezes* *lame TV announcer voice* "What will happen to our hero on the drive home? Tune in next time on ScooterBlog, same bat-site, same bat... uh... site?"

I kinda went AWOL...

Well, It has certainly been a while, hasn't it? What, like, two weeks? Three? Somthing like that. I havn't been at dad's house for about that long, and because I do all my blogging here, I ended up not blogging for a while. But that's ok, 'cause it's my life. I do what I want, ok?! YOU DON'T OWN MEEEEEE!!!

Sorry about that. Anyway, quite a bit has gone on since my last post. Por examplar (spanish for: For example), I have been driving a few times, and it isn't as scary anymore. I went through my first drive-through the other day, which was pretty intense. And yesterday, Dad took me down to the Lowell River, and starting there, I drove on this fairly empty country road, down a little more busy road, had to stop at a temporary stop-light (which my book didn't mention ONCE!) and ended up back at the river. It was a fairly enjoyable drive! Here is a picture of me driving...

So yeah, I've been driving a lot. That's basically the point I've been attempting to drive home for the past few paragraphs. You know, in case someone dumb hadn't realized yet. You never know who could be reading this...

So, because I have lots of pictures and no intention of wasting them, here's a really good picture my dad took of... well... I guess its pretty easy to see what the picture is of.

And here's a good man-pose with my car.

DAMN I look good! Maybe I should become a male model...

On the other hand, maybe not (FYI: for those of you who don't get the reference, this is a scene from Zoolander).

So, back to the update, I will now move on to the actual working on the Camaro. I finally put that goo on the center console to make it look brand new (which it didn't), and so now I'm gonna put in a cup holder so it will look good (which it won't), and we discovered that the steering wheel was a little off kilter, so we're gonna tilt it back so I won't crash (which I might [just kidding, Mom and Dad and everyone else who drives]). Dad also painted the door pannel black so it looks pretty good too. Once all this was done, I attempted to remove the dash board to paint that, but because that would have made life too simple and easy, I couldn't figure out how. So I took a couple of painstakingly long hours (or half hours, mabye. It certainly FELT like hours) masking off the inside of the car, finding out I did it wrong, and remasking it, before I could paint it. Here are a few more pic's...

Finally, I got to the actual painting, which turned out fairly well. And I got to wear a mask. It made me feel very fixery. And yes, I just created that word. Feel free to use it in your every day life.

When we took all the paper off, my car looked (exuse the geek-speak) like the PWN, as seen here.

Doesn't that look good? I think so. And if you don't you can just go DIE IN A FIRE!!!!!

So eventually, my dad's friend Seth came over, and we fired up the BBQ for some scrumtrulecent burgers (I credit that word to Will Ferrell on an episode of SNL), and I got to light the 'qew. That would be a shortening of the word barbeque. Anyway I decided to go big on the fire, and poured 2 bottles of lighter fluid on the fire. Here are some amazing shots of what happens when teenage boys, fire, and the oppertunity for attention mix...

Ahhhh... good times.

Well, almost done, but before I do, I'm gonna tell you a little somthing. A really, really, really long time ago, back in Mason City, Iowa, my great, great grandpa Joe had a mechanic shop. I even have a picture of it...

Point here is, that on March 13, 1934, John Dillinger, a famous gangster and robber, nicknamed Public Enemy Number One, robbed the First National Bank in Mason City, and escaped by having hostages stand on the running boards of the gettaway car. And my great great grandpa was the one who got to fix that car. Pretty cool, huh?