I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

(By the way, that title is meant to be said in a slightly creepy manner, like the little girl in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, "They're HEEEEEEEEERE", or perhaps in an even scarier manner, such as Jack Nicholson in The Shining, "Heeeeeere's Johnny!", but more likely, it would be like that one drunk pilot in Independence Day)

I TOLD you I wouldn't be driving for a while! After what, a month? of driving abstinence (Giggity), I finally stepped behind the wheel of a car again yesterday (and yes, you are allowed to put in a question mark without ending a sentence). For those N00Bs or morons, this is my car:

(In case you can't tell, it's a '79 Camaro. You never know who might be reading this...)

And this is the result of my last automotive experience...

Well maybe not THAT bad, but I did almost hit someone. Aaand another someone. And a ladder. You know what, just refer to the blog post below this one.

Anyway, my latest drive went much better, although it was not without its share of exitement, setbacks, and retardetude.That's right. Retardetude. ... I love my twisted mind. (See some post about using my words. And if you are too lazy to do so, than you are most likely also too lazy to get any exercise. So for those people... HAAAAAAA!!! YOU'RE AN F3!!! [this has nothing to do with E3, the Electronics Entertainment Expo, it is the abreviation of Triple-F, which is a shortening of Fatty-Fat Fat])

So my dad says its about time for me to start driving again, and already I'm a little bit, "Shwa?" (it means something along the lines of "Woah woah, hold up there, sparky. What was that you just said? It can't be what I thought you just said. Wha... It was!? Oh my god. OOOOOH MYYYYYYYY GAAAAAAWWWWWWD!!!!! *run away crying like small girl*. I know. All that, in just one word. It's a little bit like the opposite of Japanese.) But instead of going with dad, I went with Seth. Which reminds me, you all are a little out of the loop, arn't ya? Let me fill you in (Giggity); My dad's friend Seth and his girlfriend Sasha moved into the basement a couple of weeks ago. Now, if you knew everything about my life (which would be really, really creepy), you would know that my uncle used to live down there, and no offense to him, but he didn't exactly leave it in the same state that he found it. Or even the same country, for that matter. Throw in a couple of flooding incedents, and you have one nasty place to live. So Seth and Sasha basically set out to fix the place up, which they did at an astounding speed. So now they live there, and are affectionatly refered to as, "The Basement Squaters". By the way, the People Living in Dad's House Count, or the PLDHC (and not a vowel in sight), is now up to 6 people, 1/2 a dog, and 2 1/2 cats (we have a catdog named Shiva [not really a catdog, just a dog that is everything bad that is dog, and everything bad that is cat] that dad hates with a passion like none other I have ever seen)

Back to the actual story, I went drivin' with Seth. First we tried going down to Lowell (see one of my posts. What, you think I actually remember which one? Find it yourself, you lazy NuBs. Just think of it as The Da'Vinci Code, "It lies beneath this post"... Y'know, as in, "It lies beneath the rose." If you haven't read it, and don't plan to, than go die you ILITERATE SWINE!!! The great part about that last sentence is that I'm not sure if I spelled iliterate correctly.). That didn't work too well. We missed the turn, and ended up going back to the house. Guess what moron was driving?

Obviously.

So this time Seth drives down to the Albertsons, we pick up some groceries, and drop it off back home. Then we try Lowell again. He drives. When we get there, we swich places, and now I drive. Now lets back up a sec. Before we left, Dad said, "turn around before you get to the lumber yard. Do you remember where that is, Scott?"

"Yes, Dad"

Long story short (too late), No, Dad. Because I didn't know where the lumber yard was, I didn't turn around in time. And would you like to know where that got me? On the freeway. Me. Driving. Freeway. The three words when, uttered using the right connencting words, can cause the earth to QUAKE WITH FEAR BEFORE MY MIGHT, PUNY MORTALS HAH HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! Woops, kind of slipped into earth domination mode there. That's not what I'm like (yet). I actually did alot better than I thought that I would on the freeway, it was easier than the normal roads! No stop signs, no lights, no puppies to get stuck in my tire treads, and no pedestrians to scrape off of my hood! So longer story shorter (way too late) we eventually got home in one piece.

I will now take a break in the middle of this post in order for you to get up, stretch your legs, lose some wait on the toilet, or just go into another room and analy exhale (to use a... well, not a polite euphemism, but a euphemism all the same.).

Anyway, back to you're regularly schedualed post...

So now I've told you all about how well I drove, but nothing about how much I have fixed. And boy, do I have alot to tell. Well, truth be told, I have very little to tell. ... HA HA! I foooooled you! You actually thought that I had somthing left to say! Hehehehehe.

OK, I'm done.

Giggity.